Some people may ask well then why don't you go to bed and to that I would say "bbeeeecause ii havve to ggett a frikkkiingg educaation" and then I would most likely punch them square in the forehead. What they would do after that I cannot tell you but for the sake of entertainment ill speculate... so after I punch let’s say jimmy after I punch jimmy in the forehead he would then slap me and the noise would sound as if a thousand screeching banshees where yelping in my ear so I would retaliate by pulling his ear with a furious amount of strength to which he would start to dramatically tear up and I would laugh as he went into the fetal position at my feet. Ha triumphant standing pose and glorious backdrop. Well now that’s over with and The End.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
So its 5:55 in the morning and I'm friking freezing
Some people may ask well then why don't you go to bed and to that I would say "bbeeeecause ii havve to ggett a frikkkiingg educaation" and then I would most likely punch them square in the forehead. What they would do after that I cannot tell you but for the sake of entertainment ill speculate... so after I punch let’s say jimmy after I punch jimmy in the forehead he would then slap me and the noise would sound as if a thousand screeching banshees where yelping in my ear so I would retaliate by pulling his ear with a furious amount of strength to which he would start to dramatically tear up and I would laugh as he went into the fetal position at my feet. Ha triumphant standing pose and glorious backdrop. Well now that’s over with and The End.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
so... i get bored and competitive and well just irritated
So as I said in my title I get bored and make up stories such as the ninja pirate one which I have now discovered a title for my now ongoing ninja story. So are you ready for this I know I am. . . wait what do you mean I was the one who was supposed to come up with the title damn it McAlistair so it’s umm it’s THE AMAZING NNINJA PIRATE ADVENTURES OF THE AMAING ADVERCHERER NINJA PIRATE GIRL. Yes I the the ninja pirate have been a girl this whole time I just never felt the need to mention that. Now it’s coming up with the name of her arch nemesis that has been irritating me well not really there are other things like math class and angry friends on their way to piss me off Ville that irritate me but umm ...... yeah I have had the sudden urge to punch a lot of people in the FACE lately but that’s ok because I’m crazy don’t worry it not just you.
So the pirates came upon my new home on the ship Atlantis and there where hundreds of them surrounding our ship. I was flabbergasted and surprised all at the same time and I slowly began to realized that I had now vowed to destroyed a group of people I could considered well my family with absolutely no blood relationship at all. and even though I had never met them, they looked a bit scary, they did not have most of their teeth and none of them looked nearly as good in black as I did (I even added a bit of lace to my ninja outfit in order to spice it up) I still saw them as being a part of my amazing power but on the other hand they would destroy me and my new cruise ship companions in a heartbeat and from that I knew what I had to do. I had to destroy them. So by distraction them with my awesome black lace shoes I found my opening. so in super time altering ninja slow motion I kicked them all in the face then I punched them in the shoulder and feeling spontaneous I tripped some of them in slow motion which led to immediate annihilation of most of them in less than twenty seconds, while the rest of the normal pirates watched from their various stations and decided that just lying on the deck and looking dead was their best option. It was an incredible fight and all the nefarious pirates fought well but they were no match for THE AWKWARD TURTLE hahahahahahah I have in fact just created my super hero name you may now clap.
So the pirates came upon my new home on the ship Atlantis and there where hundreds of them surrounding our ship. I was flabbergasted and surprised all at the same time and I slowly began to realized that I had now vowed to destroyed a group of people I could considered well my family with absolutely no blood relationship at all. and even though I had never met them, they looked a bit scary, they did not have most of their teeth and none of them looked nearly as good in black as I did (I even added a bit of lace to my ninja outfit in order to spice it up) I still saw them as being a part of my amazing power but on the other hand they would destroy me and my new cruise ship companions in a heartbeat and from that I knew what I had to do. I had to destroy them. So by distraction them with my awesome black lace shoes I found my opening. so in super time altering ninja slow motion I kicked them all in the face then I punched them in the shoulder and feeling spontaneous I tripped some of them in slow motion which led to immediate annihilation of most of them in less than twenty seconds, while the rest of the normal pirates watched from their various stations and decided that just lying on the deck and looking dead was their best option. It was an incredible fight and all the nefarious pirates fought well but they were no match for THE AWKWARD TURTLE hahahahahahah I have in fact just created my super hero name you may now clap.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Today I . . what an exedingly average statment
Do you see what I did there... no well the average people did any way so today I got annoyed with grove shark very annoyed I was all like if you can’t handle this awesomeness without being slow well then I’ll just take our cheese party idea to another website if you please and all prepared to walk away with a red spotted bandanna on a stick filled with cheese and pictures of the good times it started to work and I apologized for yelling at it. That’s right I apologized for yelling at a computer screen and it no longer gave me any trouble so ha I bet you non-awesome computer screen can’t do that so again ha. Now back to my ninja story.
now as a ninja pirate I found I could in fact do anything I wanted and that this was a responsibility I mustn't take lightly and that cannot be abused for even though I could easily take over the world I could also destroy it and as earthlings that would be bad so I pursued my musical career as a swing/jazz singer on the cruise ship Atlantis I was the best they had and the tips were outrageous but that was cool cause I'm alright with having money any way so I was having a great time when suddenly we were attacked by pirates and not the ninja kind... I know your starting to hate this but oh well.
now as a ninja pirate I found I could in fact do anything I wanted and that this was a responsibility I mustn't take lightly and that cannot be abused for even though I could easily take over the world I could also destroy it and as earthlings that would be bad so I pursued my musical career as a swing/jazz singer on the cruise ship Atlantis I was the best they had and the tips were outrageous but that was cool cause I'm alright with having money any way so I was having a great time when suddenly we were attacked by pirates and not the ninja kind... I know your starting to hate this but oh well.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Don't Worry
Yeah that's right just don't worry I'm still awkward and less normal than spotted unicorns... right and on that note a zombie ate my shoe and I discovered where life came from but that for another time as in never those stories shall NEVER be told, now I would like to speak to you about my life as a ninja...a real ninja.
Once upon a time I lived in a town called Sworden which is right across the river from the infamous city Bladic. I had been training to be a ninja since the age of three and just discovered on my that I had a secret ninja power that was in fact rare amongst other Ninjas, I could also travel the seven seas easily and without getting seasick a feet onto which most Ninjas could not stand. comming to the conclution that I was in fact the first the only the quiet spectacular pirate ninja I. . . don don don hold the applause the stories not over yet and yes this is my" awkward "attempt at a cliff hanger.
Once upon a time I lived in a town called Sworden which is right across the river from the infamous city Bladic. I had been training to be a ninja since the age of three and just discovered on my that I had a secret ninja power that was in fact rare amongst other Ninjas, I could also travel the seven seas easily and without getting seasick a feet onto which most Ninjas could not stand. comming to the conclution that I was in fact the first the only the quiet spectacular pirate ninja I. . . don don don hold the applause the stories not over yet and yes this is my" awkward "attempt at a cliff hanger.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Just your average awkward person
Today I ate pie. Awkward? No. Awesome? Yes. I don't have an awkward life I'm simply an awkward person i like being awkward i like being me and bears yes bears i like bears there fluffy and when their hungry they eat trees trees with bark and leafs and stuff. Lots. Of. Leafs. Yes that was an awkward moment remember it for it will always be so.
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